[This whole time, Five has been laying with his face basically mashed into the corner of the couch. He only starts really paying attention when Kalim answers the phone, which, of course, his super bird hearing can also pick up Prime's end of the conversation through the Syntrofos speaker... His ears twitch occasionally as he listens in, feeling increasingly irritated the longer he has to hear Kalim getting heckled by his stupid goddamn not-boss--
Finally Kalim caves and comes over with the phone. Five immediately rolls slightly onto his back as he approaches, looking back and up over his shoulder, scowling sourly about the whole messy situation. His eyes flick between Kalim and the little device, his expression distinctly unimpressed.]
...He's such a goddamn prick.
[Apparently seeing Kalim in mild distress is enough to provoke Five to do something about the situation because he motions him to hand over the device, pinching it between two talons like he is handling an actual piece of garbage, and holds it up to one feathery ear.]
What?
[There, you get one word. Curt. Utterly devoid of enthusiasm and spirit.]
Are you in your apartment? [ For the third (fourth??) time and counting: ] Tell me where it is. I don't care how depressed you're feeling -- I need to see you.
[ The smallest of beats, then: ]
It'll put a smile on your face to find out why.
Edited (has prime ever been this pathetic. you've heard of hangry now get ready for-) 2025-09-30 08:35 (UTC)
[Five's right eyelid twitches harder for each second he's forced to listen to Elan's voice, his mouth twisted up into some kind of awkward wobbly combination of a sneer and a frown. It'll put a smile on his face? Somehow he highly, highly doubts that.
...At the same time: he really doesn't have it in him to argue or defy a direct demand, thanks to the dose of Obedience Juice Patho-Gen just got done injecting him with earlier today, so. His annoyance doesn't really stick! He's already thinking, wouldn't it be easier, more peaceful, if he gave the guy what he wants? His compliance kicks in more easily now that he's hearing Prime's voice, instead of just reading a slew of texts.]
Tch... Alright, fine...
[... Except, instead of directly telling Elan where to go himself, he just... shoves the syntrofos back over towards Kalim without another word.]
[ Kalim frowns a little, but he takes the syntrofos anyway. He didn't hear the other end of the conversation while Five had it; his solid gold ears don't have anything like the acute hearing Five's bird ones do.
Elan was sure Five would badger him a bit about all this bullshit -- "needing something" and "making him smile" -- before acquiescing to his request, particularly given the extent to which he's made his desperation palpable. This was a prime (... ha, ha... ) bantering opportunity. They both know Elan will get what he wants eventually, but like, can't they have a little fun with it?
[Guess who has not been in the room and has not been paying attention to any of this? Jamil leans in from around the corner now, clearly annoyed about being pulled into whatever nonsense is brewing.]
[Jamil barely even glances at it. This is so not anything he gives a shit about, and so he continues to remain largely ignorant of the Elan Situation and all its many nuances. Like why this is an issue in the first place.]
So let him. Why are you asking me? I'm not his babysitter.
[ Kalim considers arguing with this -- surely Jamil would mind, if someone just showed up at their apartment without anyone telling him first? -- but ultimately decides against it. Sometimes Jamil just has to be a bitch for no reason. ]
No, that's all. Thanks, Jamil.
[ He leans over to kiss him on the cheek (easier than ever because they are the same height now) and then turns his attention back to the syntrofos. ]
[As usual, this short-circuits Jamil's brain enough for him to stop being a bitch for a couple of minutes (until something annoys him again). It's like a reset button!]
[Meanwhile, at some point in the middle of Kalim and Jamil's back and forth about Elan's visitation rights: Five has deigned to sit up from his depression nook... Only to clonk his chin down on the edge of the couch and just, staaaaare directly at them both while they argue, blinking sluggishly with a small frown on his lips.
He literally doesn't even want anything??? He's just watching and listening like a bored cat. It's unclear if he's even truly processing the fact that they're specifically discussing stuff related to his dumb ass.]
[His ears tick back a little; it doesn't seem like he wants to take the Syntrofos? But he does, holding it a second before lightly tossing it over his shoulder and onto the floor behind him with a soft thud.]
[Five turns his head to follow Kalim with his gaze as he circles around to pick the Syntrofos back up, and... Pop Quiz! Are you seeing things? Or is Five... Turning his head maybe just, a little bit further than should be humanly possible...? Too late, now he's turned fully and is blinking up at Kalim from his perch on the couch, contemplating the question.
No proper answer is given: instead, he just grunts noncommittally and clunks his forehead against Kalim's tummy, and remains like that.
[ Kalim looks down at him, bewildered but not put off. ]
You want me to pet your feathers?
[ Who is he not to oblige! He ruffles Five's hair fondly. If Jamil is still in the room Kalim shoots him a helpless sort of haha-can-you-believe-this look.]
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I think he deserves for somebody to be nice to him!
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Finally Kalim caves and comes over with the phone. Five immediately rolls slightly onto his back as he approaches, looking back and up over his shoulder, scowling sourly about the whole messy situation. His eyes flick between Kalim and the little device, his expression distinctly unimpressed.]
...He's such a goddamn prick.
[Apparently seeing Kalim in mild distress is enough to provoke Five to do something about the situation because he motions him to hand over the device, pinching it between two talons like he is handling an actual piece of garbage, and holds it up to one feathery ear.]
What?
[There, you get one word. Curt. Utterly devoid of enthusiasm and spirit.]
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Oh good, you are alive. I was beginning to think I'd have to come collect your corpse.
[ Like, what use could Kalim possibly have for it????
Anyway, ]
Are you in your apartment? [ For the third (fourth??) time and counting: ] Tell me where it is. I don't care how depressed you're feeling -- I need to see you.
[ The smallest of beats, then: ]
It'll put a smile on your face to find out why.
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...At the same time: he really doesn't have it in him to argue or defy a direct demand, thanks to the dose of Obedience Juice Patho-Gen just got done injecting him with earlier today, so. His annoyance doesn't really stick! He's already thinking, wouldn't it be easier, more peaceful, if he gave the guy what he wants? His compliance kicks in more easily now that he's hearing Prime's voice, instead of just reading a slew of texts.]
Tch... Alright, fine...
[... Except, instead of directly telling Elan where to go himself, he just... shoves the syntrofos back over towards Kalim without another word.]
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[ Kalim frowns a little, but he takes the syntrofos anyway. He didn't hear the other end of the conversation while Five had it; his solid gold ears don't have anything like the acute hearing Five's bird ones do.
To Elan: ] Okay, so are you done...?
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Elan was sure Five would badger him a bit about all this bullshit -- "needing something" and "making him smile" -- before acquiescing to his request, particularly given the extent to which he's made his desperation palpable. This was a prime (... ha, ha... ) bantering opportunity. They both know Elan will get what he wants eventually, but like, can't they have a little fun with it?
What the actual fuck is wrong with Five?? ]
2/2
Well, you heard him -- I'm coming over. [ ✨😊✨ ] Send me your address and I'll be there in a few hours. Don't make me ask another five times.
[ Click! ]
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Jamiiil... is it okay if this guy comes by?
[ HE'S TRYING. TO BE CONSIDERATE. ]
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What guy?
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[ He holds out the syntrofos to Jamil so he can take a look if he wants. ]
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So let him. Why are you asking me? I'm not his babysitter.
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[ Please... he's trying to be a good boy... ]
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Heres the address
[ There are some typos in it but Elan should be able to find it. ]
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Has Elan Ceres ever worked this hard in his life? ]
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Fine, then, it's not like it matters so me. Is there anything else?
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No, that's all. Thanks, Jamil.
[ He leans over to kiss him on the cheek (easier than ever because they are the same height now) and then turns his attention back to the syntrofos. ]
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He literally doesn't even want anything??? He's just watching and listening like a bored cat. It's unclear if he's even truly processing the fact that they're specifically discussing stuff related to his dumb ass.]
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Oh, hey there, bud! Here you go.
[ He hands the device back to him. Five this is your last chance to look at your texts before Elan eats your phone. ]
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[His ears tick back a little; it doesn't seem like he wants to take the Syntrofos? But he does, holding it a second before lightly tossing it over his shoulder and onto the floor behind him with a soft thud.]
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[ Kalim... goes to pick that up off the floor for him. ]
You, uh, you want me to hold onto this for you until, uh... until Elan gets here?
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No proper answer is given: instead, he just grunts noncommittally and clunks his forehead against Kalim's tummy, and remains like that.
Pet him.]
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[ Kalim looks down at him, bewildered but not put off. ]
You want me to pet your feathers?
[ Who is he not to oblige! He ruffles Five's hair fondly. If Jamil is still in the room Kalim shoots him a helpless sort of haha-can-you-believe-this look.]
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