[If Jamil was startled by the drawer's noise, Five's sudden appearance only amplifies it. Hedoesn't jump in surprise, because he physically can't do that anymore, but his smoke body automatically puffs out in a way that gives the impression of it. It's only all his previous experience of having to be quiet in the middle of the night that keeps him from yelping.
When he recovers, his voice is a low, annoyed hiss:]
And? What does it matter to you?
[He's still processing the fact that he successfully moved something at all.]
[Too bad for Jamil that no amount of staying quiet would be enough to escape the notice of the guy who sleeps as light as a bird. Five sighs with obvious irritation at Jamil's accusatory response; he's really not in the mood to maintain his usual attempts at playing nice.]
Seriously? Why is it so hard for you to accept the idea that I'm merely sympathetic to your situation? I've already gone out of my way to pass you information about your soul type once before, did you already forget about that? I think we were even standing in this exact room at the time, when we talked.
[This really is news to Jamil; he blinks at Five in obvious surprise. It actually is hard for him to believe this, largely due to his own projections onto Five's behavior but also because he simply isn't used to the people around him not actively choosing to be assholes, himself included. He isn't sure why being faced with a different prospect makes him so uncomfortable.]
...I don't want your sympathy.
[He says like he hasn't been constantly fighting a tantrum ever since he came back from torture camp.]
[Five sighs dramatically, utterly unsurprised, his tone weary:]
Of course you don't. Frankly I would've been shocked if you did. And you want to know why I know that? You're really going to hate to hear this: it's because we're really not so different, in that regard.
[It's weird how devoid of smarminess his mannerisms are right now. It's weird that Jamil is one of the privileged few to consistently keep seeing him at his most unmasked.]
Even if it were coming from someone other than me, you still wouldn't want it. Because the line between sympathy and pity is much too blurry for comfort. Right?
[Jamil is silent in response, his face blank. He knows an attempt at an olive branch when he hears it, and the mature thing to do is take it, but Jamil isn't sure he wants a truce with Five. At this point, he really does just want Five out of the house, if he's honest. Just seeing him walking around these days is like a constant reminder of everything Jamil can no longer do.
But Kalim would be miserable if Jamil really pushed the issue, and Jamil has no reason to do so beyond his own pettiness, which--he isn't above being petty, of course. But he doesn't, in truth, actually want Kalim to be miserable.
So here they all are, stuck.
Jamil compromises by stalling. He folds his arms defensively.]
[Five doesn't answer right away; he's trying to decide how honest to be here. He could lie and give some kind of flippant explanation, but that rarely ever feels like the right tactic to take with Jamil. The guy is already so goddamn suspicious of everything he says and does just at base, it just doesn't seem like it's worth the effort to try and deceive him? As far as Five is concerned, lying to Jamil is only useful for ONE thing, and that is deliberately provoking/trying to piss the man off.
So, after a pause, he just admits it up front:]
...Probably because I'm an idiot who keeps hoping that maybe if I continue demonstrating that I don't actually have it out for you, you might reconsider your assessment of me as some kind of Spawn of Satan. Ridiculous, I know... But I much prefer having allies to enemies, so. Hope springs eternal!
[Smile smile. He's not actually joking at all, though; if anything, he sounds kind of weirdly tired and sad.]
That's it, really. You can go ahead and say something acerbic and cruel to me now.
[Well, there's very little Jamil can say to that now that doesn't make him sound like an asshole to his own ears. Well done, Five--now Jamil has to match his energy.
He finds, unfortunately, that he doesn't have much energy left in him to put on airs, either. He looks at the silverware drawer, at the few inches of movement he'd managed to achieve, and then back to Five with an expression more somber and resigned than resentful.]
Is it really so hard to understand why I don't like you?
Oh, no. I completely understand why; I just think it's impractical and it's making both of our lives much harder a LOT more miserable than they need to be.
[You're not actually that deep or hard to figure out, Jamil.]
...That's why I'm actually fairly invested in assisting you in figuring this new form of yours, if I can.
[He's also looking at the silverware drawer now. Thinking.]
[This does surprise him. There's a split second where it occurs to Jamil he should probably feel guilty or something--Five still doesn't know anything about what Jamil did, as far as he knows, and here he is offering to help despite all the other times Jamil has been a dick that he does know about. Maybe he should... say something about it?
He decides against it in the next moment. Why sabotage an unexpected advantage? Besides, he's curious what Five could possibly mean--not that he's getting his hopes up.]
[Likewise, Five hasn't forgotten what Kalim told him... But it doesn't feel very prudent to press Jamil on the matter right now, so he's just maintaining an extra layer of vigilance, for the time being.]
Well... Admittedly, the how is a bit of a work in progress still, so I realize the commitment doesn't actually mean much.
[He's not pleased to admit that, but, again: lying to a fellow liar feels pretty fucking useless, so he may as well be straight and upfront about his line of thinking.]
The thing is, I genuinely can't imagine that you're truly doomed to be stuck in this state of intangibility for the rest of time... Not because it's unthinkably unfair, or anything; I don't deal in optimistic garbage like that. It's just that it seems ridiculously impractical from Patho-Gen's side of things, doesn't it? I don't trust them to make rational decisions or know what they're doing 100% of the time, but I do expect them to make the most of their assets... Which, like it or not, every Augmented is one...
[He shrugs a little.]
Call it a hunch, I suppose. One that I think you might already be proving correct, with this little stunt.
[Jamil brings a hand to his chin, considering. Five... has a point, actually. While he figures Patho-Gen's control over how each Natural Soul manifests is limited, it wouldn't make sense to render one of their Augmented completely useless. This can't be the end of it. And yet...
It had still taken so much effort just to move the drawer. What is he missing?
He thinks again about the previous incident, and how he hasn't done any exploration of that ability since. Jamil hadn't felt much different afterward, but he also hadn't spent that long in Five's body. Something to put a pin into for later.]
...You might have an idea there.
[He sighs.]
Unfortunately... that doesn't do me much good right now.
[It's more resigned than resentful; he's stating a fact. Even if a solution exists, until it's finally found, there's no changing how frustrating this is, and the hurdles it presents feel unsurmountable.]
[Five can't exactly argue with him on that... Which makes it kind of hard to respond at first, because he's not about to try and placate this guy with a bunch of insincere reassurances.
He could point out that he's at least doing better than he was when Five saw him in the dreamscape that one time... Which, actually, reminds him,]
...There's something else you should know. I didn't bother telling Kalim this because, let's be real, he wouldn't want to hear it. But... I have some knowledge of what Patho-Gen put you both through, while you were in their tender loving care. It's kind of hard for me to explain how I know, since they did such an obnoxiously thorough job of wiping your memories, but. There it is.
[His silhouette stutters around the edges. Flashes of the nightmare he'd just woken up from flit through his mind, the sense memory of being burned making him shiver involuntarily. He doesn't actually want to know the details, happy to toss all that into the vault right alongside Kalim, but to say as much to Five feels like admitting fear in a way he's ashamed of. And the idea of Five knowing something about Jamil that he himself doesn't, especially something as vulnerable and personal as this, makes Jamil feel sick to his stomach.
He really should know this, even if the idea of hearing it from Five makes him cringe, but he doesn't think he can handle it right now. So he stalls--though it's not truly stalling if it's something that still needs to be asked, right.]
...No, actually, explain how you know first. [It wasn't broadcast or anything, was it...]
Alright. So I know this is going to sound a bit crazy, but. There was a point in the last few days where suddenly, every Augmented... Seemed to be sharing the same dream.
[Star wipe past the explanation of how the city got put to sleep and everyone was bumming around a weird dream circus, etc etc. Five's as forthcoming about all of that as he can be, once again seeing little reason to lie about the matter. It's basically public knowledge anyway; probably the only reason Jamil doesn't know already is that he can't touch his own Syntrofos to access the message boards.]
...Anything I know, I only know because both of you told me the details yourselves. You just don't remember doing it.
[Feeling uncomfortable after all that, Five distracts himself a little by fiddling with his bangs.]
I don't have answers to fill in every single gap. And I'm not letting you know all this out of the goodness of my heart, or anything gag-worthy like that... It's just that it would feel... Reprehensible to me, on a personal level, to withhold that I was privy to such information. As for the specifics, I won't burden you with them if you don't want them.
[Jamil's smoky brow furrows. The details Five provides do resonate dimly with him, as if this was a dream he'd had a while before and had forgotten until now. He remembers, vaguely, speaking with Five in the dark... being in a cage... seeing through his own hands...
Five is telling the truth, and despite himself, Jamil is grateful that he's offering it. Even if he doesn't want to hear it. He tells himself that he needs to know his own weaknesses in order to grow from them.]
No, thank you, I... I need to know.
[And in return... he should probably come clean about what happened with Five, the day he and Kalim returned from Patho-Gen.
He'll do that later, though. No sense in risking pissing Five off prematurely and him withholding information Jamil needs. Despite Five's insistence that he wouldn't.]
What did they... [He looks down at his own ghostlike limbs.] Do you know how this...?
[Five considers for a moment before holding up a hand and wobbling it side to side in the universal motion of ehhhh...]
Sort of. Some of this I had to piece together, since neither of you were particularly keen to get into the nitty gritty details, but. It sounded like they were doing experiments on you both at the same time and in the same room...? Testing the strength of your Imprint by tormenting one or the other. I think that probably included accelerating your spectral death.
[That... sounds right. That feels right. It certainly follows the piecemeal narrative Jamil has been reluctant to string together from his dreams, the memory of hearing Kalim sob, the feeling that something terrible will happen if Jamil lets him out of his sight.
Honestly, he doesn't want to know any more. What Five has already told him is enough, and what good would more details really do him? He understands the gist, confirmed now by more than one perspective. He's dead. He was murdered and now he's a fucking ghost and there's nothing he can do about that. He might get stronger, he might learn new ways to apply his alternate abilities, but nothing can change that this happened.
He floats in place there for a minute, staring at nothing, trying to process this. He can't quite manage it. It's too much to wrap his head around, but an eerie calmness does settle over him.]
...Thank you.
[For being honest. And even respectful, about this. It's more than Jamil would expect from Five, and more than he's offered in return, if he's being truthful. Not that he's sorry about it, but maybe he could afford to be a little more charitable going forward. If resentfully.
Jamil sighs and closes his eyes, wondering if he's about to regret this. Probably.]
I'm sure you've figured this out, but you didn't just faint that day we came back. I... don't know how I did it, but I somehow took over your body for a second.
[Well… At least Five got to enjoy a few moments of feeling some kind of peace about where he and Jamil have landed. He truly wants to convince him that things don’t have to be constantly unpleasant in the way they have been lately, and this feels like a good step towards establishing some kind of truce.
He was NOT ready for Jamil to hit him back with this reveal, though.
Five blinks a few times, letting that information wash over him. When Kalim had told him that he wanted Jamil to explain what happened himself, Five hadn’t expected to actually get that explanation. Like, ever... He might be more shocked by Jamil owning up to the deed than he is by the contents of the confession. Deep down, he thinks he already knew… Or at least, suspected.]
...I see.
[…]
Well I can’t say I’m exactly thrilled by the knowledge that you briefly turned me into a meat puppet... But I can also accept that it was an accident if you say it was. After all, my own record isn’t exactly spotless…
[He is kind of forcing himself to be calm about this.]
[Oh. Had he actually not known that? That's awkward. At least he doesn't seem that mad.]
Thank you for being so understanding.
[He's well aware Five is maybe having a stronger reaction than expected, but why pick a fight? Five is right: there's nothing to be gained by escalating tensions on purpose, no matter how satisfying it might feel. Allies are better than enemies. If Five would prefer to pretend this isn't a big deal, Jamil will happily meet him where he's at.]
...I suppose that gives us a clean slate, now? [Most conveniently for him...]
[Which he says cheerily enough, but it's also kind of in a tone that indicates Jamil best not push his luck. And that he'd best answer his follow-up question(s).]
What was that even like? You didn't... Read my mind or anything like that while you were in there, did you?
[Big relief there; he certainly doesn't need Jamil rooting around in his brain... He also chuckles a little, amused to hear his dino-soul still managed to make itself a nuisance.]
Mmm, yeah, that tracks, since it causes me trouble almost constantly... What exactly did it do?
Interesting... So not only was it causing you trouble, it was also causing me trouble at the same time by preventing your departure. It does have a tendency to be rather clingy, so I suppose that also tracks... It was a pack animal in life, after all.
[Always kind of interesting to hear other people's takes on his Natural Soul. And yeah, he is maybe privately praising it a little for giving Jamil a hard time, lol. Even if that did increase the amount of time he was possessed for... The thought is funny enough that he'll let it slide.]
[Jamil certainly doesn't find it as funny as Five, but unfortunately this is both of them trying to make nice, so it's his turn to swallow his annoyance for the benefit of diplomacy.]
Yes, well. Water under the bridge.
[Now if you'll excuse him, he's going to attempt to rattle some silverware out of frustration.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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When he recovers, his voice is a low, annoyed hiss:]
And? What does it matter to you?
[He's still processing the fact that he successfully moved something at all.]
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Seriously? Why is it so hard for you to accept the idea that I'm merely sympathetic to your situation? I've already gone out of my way to pass you information about your soul type once before, did you already forget about that? I think we were even standing in this exact room at the time, when we talked.
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...I don't want your sympathy.
[He says like he hasn't been constantly fighting a tantrum ever since he came back from torture camp.]
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Of course you don't. Frankly I would've been shocked if you did. And you want to know why I know that? You're really going to hate to hear this: it's because we're really not so different, in that regard.
[It's weird how devoid of smarminess his mannerisms are right now. It's weird that Jamil is one of the privileged few to consistently keep seeing him at his most unmasked.]
Even if it were coming from someone other than me, you still wouldn't want it. Because the line between sympathy and pity is much too blurry for comfort. Right?
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But Kalim would be miserable if Jamil really pushed the issue, and Jamil has no reason to do so beyond his own pettiness, which--he isn't above being petty, of course. But he doesn't, in truth, actually want Kalim to be miserable.
So here they all are, stuck.
Jamil compromises by stalling. He folds his arms defensively.]
If you know that, then why are you offering it?
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So, after a pause, he just admits it up front:]
...Probably because I'm an idiot who keeps hoping that maybe if I continue demonstrating that I don't actually have it out for you, you might reconsider your assessment of me as some kind of Spawn of Satan. Ridiculous, I know... But I much prefer having allies to enemies, so. Hope springs eternal!
[Smile smile. He's not actually joking at all, though; if anything, he sounds kind of weirdly tired and sad.]
That's it, really. You can go ahead and say something acerbic and cruel to me now.
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He finds, unfortunately, that he doesn't have much energy left in him to put on airs, either. He looks at the silverware drawer, at the few inches of movement he'd managed to achieve, and then back to Five with an expression more somber and resigned than resentful.]
Is it really so hard to understand why I don't like you?
[Especially now.]
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[You're not actually that deep or hard to figure out, Jamil.]
...That's why I'm actually fairly invested in assisting you in figuring this new form of yours, if I can.
[He's also looking at the silverware drawer now. Thinking.]
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[This does surprise him. There's a split second where it occurs to Jamil he should probably feel guilty or something--Five still doesn't know anything about what Jamil did, as far as he knows, and here he is offering to help despite all the other times Jamil has been a dick that he does know about. Maybe he should... say something about it?
He decides against it in the next moment. Why sabotage an unexpected advantage? Besides, he's curious what Five could possibly mean--not that he's getting his hopes up.]
How do you propose to do that?
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Well... Admittedly, the how is a bit of a work in progress still, so I realize the commitment doesn't actually mean much.
[He's not pleased to admit that, but, again: lying to a fellow liar feels pretty fucking useless, so he may as well be straight and upfront about his line of thinking.]
The thing is, I genuinely can't imagine that you're truly doomed to be stuck in this state of intangibility for the rest of time... Not because it's unthinkably unfair, or anything; I don't deal in optimistic garbage like that. It's just that it seems ridiculously impractical from Patho-Gen's side of things, doesn't it? I don't trust them to make rational decisions or know what they're doing 100% of the time, but I do expect them to make the most of their assets... Which, like it or not, every Augmented is
one...
[He shrugs a little.]
Call it a hunch, I suppose. One that I think you might already be proving correct, with this little stunt.
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It had still taken so much effort just to move the drawer. What is he missing?
He thinks again about the previous incident, and how he hasn't done any exploration of that ability since. Jamil hadn't felt much different afterward, but he also hadn't spent that long in Five's body. Something to put a pin into for later.]
...You might have an idea there.
[He sighs.]
Unfortunately... that doesn't do me much good right now.
[It's more resigned than resentful; he's stating a fact. Even if a solution exists, until it's finally found, there's no changing how frustrating this is, and the hurdles it presents feel unsurmountable.]
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He could point out that he's at least doing better than he was when Five saw him in the dreamscape that one time... Which, actually, reminds him,]
...There's something else you should know. I didn't bother telling Kalim this because, let's be real, he wouldn't want to hear it. But... I have some knowledge of what Patho-Gen put you both through, while you were in their tender loving care. It's kind of hard for me to explain how I know, since they did such an obnoxiously thorough job of wiping your memories, but. There it is.
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[His silhouette stutters around the edges. Flashes of the nightmare he'd just woken up from flit through his mind, the sense memory of being burned making him shiver involuntarily. He doesn't actually want to know the details, happy to toss all that into the vault right alongside Kalim, but to say as much to Five feels like admitting fear in a way he's ashamed of. And the idea of Five knowing something about Jamil that he himself doesn't, especially something as vulnerable and personal as this, makes Jamil feel sick to his stomach.
He really should know this, even if the idea of hearing it from Five makes him cringe, but he doesn't think he can handle it right now. So he stalls--though it's not truly stalling if it's something that still needs to be asked, right.]
...No, actually, explain how you know first. [It wasn't broadcast or anything, was it...]
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Alright. So I know this is going to sound a bit crazy, but. There was a point in the last few days where suddenly, every Augmented... Seemed to be sharing the same dream.
[Star wipe past the explanation of how the city got put to sleep and everyone was bumming around a weird dream circus, etc etc. Five's as forthcoming about all of that as he can be, once again seeing little reason to lie about the matter. It's basically public knowledge anyway; probably the only reason Jamil doesn't know already is that he can't touch his own Syntrofos to access the message boards.]
...Anything I know, I only know because both of you told me the details yourselves. You just don't remember doing it.
[Feeling uncomfortable after all that, Five distracts himself a little by fiddling with his bangs.]
I don't have answers to fill in every single gap. And I'm not letting you know all this out of the goodness of my heart, or anything gag-worthy like that... It's just that it would feel... Reprehensible to me, on a personal level, to withhold that I was privy to such information. As for the specifics, I won't burden you with them if you don't want them.
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Five is telling the truth, and despite himself, Jamil is grateful that he's offering it. Even if he doesn't want to hear it. He tells himself that he needs to know his own weaknesses in order to grow from them.]
No, thank you, I... I need to know.
[And in return... he should probably come clean about what happened with Five, the day he and Kalim returned from Patho-Gen.
He'll do that later, though. No sense in risking pissing Five off prematurely and him withholding information Jamil needs. Despite Five's insistence that he wouldn't.]
What did they... [He looks down at his own ghostlike limbs.] Do you know how this...?
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Sort of. Some of this I had to piece together, since neither of you were particularly keen to get into the nitty gritty details, but. It sounded like they were doing experiments on you both at the same time and in the same room...? Testing the strength of your Imprint by tormenting one or the other. I think that probably included accelerating your spectral death.
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Honestly, he doesn't want to know any more. What Five has already told him is enough, and what good would more details really do him? He understands the gist, confirmed now by more than one perspective. He's dead. He was murdered and now he's a fucking ghost and there's nothing he can do about that. He might get stronger, he might learn new ways to apply his alternate abilities, but nothing can change that this happened.
He floats in place there for a minute, staring at nothing, trying to process this. He can't quite manage it. It's too much to wrap his head around, but an eerie calmness does settle over him.]
...Thank you.
[For being honest. And even respectful, about this. It's more than Jamil would expect from Five, and more than he's offered in return, if he's being truthful. Not that he's sorry about it, but maybe he could afford to be a little more charitable going forward. If resentfully.
Jamil sighs and closes his eyes, wondering if he's about to regret this. Probably.]
I'm sure you've figured this out, but you didn't just faint that day we came back. I... don't know how I did it, but I somehow took over your body for a second.
[A beat. Deadpan:]
It was an accident.
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He was NOT ready for Jamil to hit him back with this reveal, though.
Five blinks a few times, letting that information wash over him. When Kalim had told him that he wanted Jamil to explain what happened himself, Five hadn’t expected to actually get that explanation. Like, ever... He might be more shocked by Jamil owning up to the deed than he is by the contents of the confession. Deep down, he thinks he already knew… Or at least, suspected.]
...I see.
[…]
Well I can’t say I’m exactly thrilled by the knowledge that you briefly turned me into a meat puppet... But I can also accept that it was an accident if you say it was. After all, my own record isn’t exactly spotless…
[He is kind of forcing himself to be calm about this.]
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Thank you for being so understanding.
[He's well aware Five is maybe having a stronger reaction than expected, but why pick a fight? Five is right: there's nothing to be gained by escalating tensions on purpose, no matter how satisfying it might feel. Allies are better than enemies. If Five would prefer to pretend this isn't a big deal, Jamil will happily meet him where he's at.]
...I suppose that gives us a clean slate, now? [Most conveniently for him...]
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[Which he says cheerily enough, but it's also kind of in a tone that indicates Jamil best not push his luck. And that he'd best answer his follow-up question(s).]
What was that even like? You didn't... Read my mind or anything like that while you were in there, did you?
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No.
[Thank God. Gross.]
You were completely unconscious, as far as I could tell. Though your Natural Soul did cause me some trouble...
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Mmm, yeah, that tracks, since it causes me trouble almost constantly... What exactly did it do?
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Actually, it wouldn't let me leave.
[He tried and everything.]
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[Always kind of interesting to hear other people's takes on his Natural Soul. And yeah, he is maybe privately praising it a little for giving Jamil a hard time, lol. Even if that did increase the amount of time he was possessed for... The thought is funny enough that he'll let it slide.]
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Yes, well. Water under the bridge.
[Now if you'll excuse him, he's going to attempt to rattle some silverware out of frustration.]
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