[ Alright, this is just unacceptable. The fact that his own fucking clone can't be bothered to tell him to take a hike himself, let alone hit the block button... ]
Oh!!! Im sorry you sent so many messages i didnt see! OK maybe you should ask patho gen if theyve seen that guy!! And you dont need to worry my ones not in danger or anything he just doesnt want to talk to you
It's not about what he wants, it's about what I need and what's good for him. We have a little history you couldn't possibly begin to understand.
[ Did Elan feel compelled to throw that last line in there after Kalim's unnecessarily cheeky reference to his second clone? Yeah. Buddy, you can imprint and pair bond and whatever the fuck else with the guy all you want but nothing will ever change the fact that Five was brainwashed into forgetting his original identity and surgically altered to look like Elan Ceres. #thatsamore🍕
And for the love of a god Elan doesn't believe in -- ]
Don't apologize for playing at being his personal secretary poorly. It's weird.
[ A beat, then (💡❗️): ]
If you can get him to tell me to fuck off on call, I will.
[ Hm. Kalim can't help but be reminded of that one time when Jamil was talking to Five.....
He glances over his shoulder at the couch. 🤔 ]
I know!! He explained your whole thing to me its kind of weird But im pretty sure if i make him talk to you he will get rly upset so just wait for later ok
[ Uuugh it is MUCH harder to un-agitate his Natural Soul over not doing as he's told when he's receiving the instruction over audio. Kalim makes a quiet, drawn-out noise of frustration.
Then he goes back into the living room and holds the phone out to Five. ]
That, uh... Elan wants to talk to you. You don't have to.
[This whole time, Five has been laying with his face basically mashed into the corner of the couch. He only starts really paying attention when Kalim answers the phone, which, of course, his super bird hearing can also pick up Prime's end of the conversation through the Syntrofos speaker... His ears twitch occasionally as he listens in, feeling increasingly irritated the longer he has to hear Kalim getting heckled by his stupid goddamn not-boss--
Finally Kalim caves and comes over with the phone. Five immediately rolls slightly onto his back as he approaches, looking back and up over his shoulder, scowling sourly about the whole messy situation. His eyes flick between Kalim and the little device, his expression distinctly unimpressed.]
...He's such a goddamn prick.
[Apparently seeing Kalim in mild distress is enough to provoke Five to do something about the situation because he motions him to hand over the device, pinching it between two talons like he is handling an actual piece of garbage, and holds it up to one feathery ear.]
What?
[There, you get one word. Curt. Utterly devoid of enthusiasm and spirit.]
Are you in your apartment? [ For the third (fourth??) time and counting: ] Tell me where it is. I don't care how depressed you're feeling -- I need to see you.
[ The smallest of beats, then: ]
It'll put a smile on your face to find out why.
Edited (has prime ever been this pathetic. you've heard of hangry now get ready for-) 2025-09-30 08:35 (UTC)
[Five's right eyelid twitches harder for each second he's forced to listen to Elan's voice, his mouth twisted up into some kind of awkward wobbly combination of a sneer and a frown. It'll put a smile on his face? Somehow he highly, highly doubts that.
...At the same time: he really doesn't have it in him to argue or defy a direct demand, thanks to the dose of Obedience Juice Patho-Gen just got done injecting him with earlier today, so. His annoyance doesn't really stick! He's already thinking, wouldn't it be easier, more peaceful, if he gave the guy what he wants? His compliance kicks in more easily now that he's hearing Prime's voice, instead of just reading a slew of texts.]
Tch... Alright, fine...
[... Except, instead of directly telling Elan where to go himself, he just... shoves the syntrofos back over towards Kalim without another word.]
[ Kalim frowns a little, but he takes the syntrofos anyway. He didn't hear the other end of the conversation while Five had it; his solid gold ears don't have anything like the acute hearing Five's bird ones do.
Elan was sure Five would badger him a bit about all this bullshit -- "needing something" and "making him smile" -- before acquiescing to his request, particularly given the extent to which he's made his desperation palpable. This was a prime (... ha, ha... ) bantering opportunity. They both know Elan will get what he wants eventually, but like, can't they have a little fun with it?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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1/2 probs
2/3 two can play the cute sticker game
3/3
Can neither of you read?
I needed something, but now I'm also concerned.
Where are you?
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Oh!!! Im sorry you sent so many messages i didnt see!
OK maybe you should ask patho gen if theyve seen that guy!!
And you dont need to worry my ones not in danger or anything he just doesnt want to talk to you
are you fr for real right now kalim al-asim...
It's not about what he wants, it's about what I need and what's good for him.
We have a little history you couldn't possibly begin to understand.
[ Did Elan feel compelled to throw that last line in there after Kalim's unnecessarily cheeky reference to his second clone? Yeah. Buddy, you can imprint and pair bond and whatever the fuck else with the guy all you want but nothing will ever change the fact that Five was brainwashed into forgetting his original identity and surgically altered to look like Elan Ceres. #thatsamore🍕
And for the love of a god Elan doesn't believe in -- ]
Don't apologize for playing at being his personal secretary poorly.
It's weird.
[ A beat, then (💡❗️): ]
If you can get him to tell me to fuck off on call, I will.
no subject
He glances over his shoulder at the couch. 🤔 ]
I know!! He explained your whole thing to me its kind of weird
But im pretty sure if i make him talk to you he will get rly upset so just wait for later ok
2/2
If you want to date him i am not stopping you but thats really really weird
1/? i'm sorry,
2/?
3/3
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I told you, he's not gonna talk to you. He...definitely won't be able to tell you what's going on with the other guy.
[ He sounds frustrated, but also sincerely apologetic. This entire situation sucks! ]
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He'll feel a little better if he tells me to fuck off. Trust me. Put him on.
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is this karteria's weirdest hostage situation ever?
[ And yes, Elan sounds just like Kalim when he says it. ]
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Then he goes back into the living room and holds the phone out to Five. ]
That, uh... Elan wants to talk to you. You don't have to.
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What do you mean he doesn't have to? Why are you babying him like this? Is this what it's always like between you two?
[ Disgusting. ]
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I think he deserves for somebody to be nice to him!
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Finally Kalim caves and comes over with the phone. Five immediately rolls slightly onto his back as he approaches, looking back and up over his shoulder, scowling sourly about the whole messy situation. His eyes flick between Kalim and the little device, his expression distinctly unimpressed.]
...He's such a goddamn prick.
[Apparently seeing Kalim in mild distress is enough to provoke Five to do something about the situation because he motions him to hand over the device, pinching it between two talons like he is handling an actual piece of garbage, and holds it up to one feathery ear.]
What?
[There, you get one word. Curt. Utterly devoid of enthusiasm and spirit.]
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Oh good, you are alive. I was beginning to think I'd have to come collect your corpse.
[ Like, what use could Kalim possibly have for it????
Anyway, ]
Are you in your apartment? [ For the third (fourth??) time and counting: ] Tell me where it is. I don't care how depressed you're feeling -- I need to see you.
[ The smallest of beats, then: ]
It'll put a smile on your face to find out why.
no subject
...At the same time: he really doesn't have it in him to argue or defy a direct demand, thanks to the dose of Obedience Juice Patho-Gen just got done injecting him with earlier today, so. His annoyance doesn't really stick! He's already thinking, wouldn't it be easier, more peaceful, if he gave the guy what he wants? His compliance kicks in more easily now that he's hearing Prime's voice, instead of just reading a slew of texts.]
Tch... Alright, fine...
[... Except, instead of directly telling Elan where to go himself, he just... shoves the syntrofos back over towards Kalim without another word.]
no subject
[ Kalim frowns a little, but he takes the syntrofos anyway. He didn't hear the other end of the conversation while Five had it; his solid gold ears don't have anything like the acute hearing Five's bird ones do.
To Elan: ] Okay, so are you done...?
1/2
Elan was sure Five would badger him a bit about all this bullshit -- "needing something" and "making him smile" -- before acquiescing to his request, particularly given the extent to which he's made his desperation palpable. This was a prime (... ha, ha... ) bantering opportunity. They both know Elan will get what he wants eventually, but like, can't they have a little fun with it?
What the actual fuck is wrong with Five?? ]
2/2
Well, you heard him -- I'm coming over. [ ✨😊✨ ] Send me your address and I'll be there in a few hours. Don't make me ask another five times.
[ Click! ]
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Jamiiil... is it okay if this guy comes by?
[ HE'S TRYING. TO BE CONSIDERATE. ]
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